Do you ever feel like everyone else is two steps ahead of you?

• A colleague gets a promotion.
• A friend buys a house.
• Someone you went to university with launches a business.
• A former co-worker announces a new job.

Meanwhile, you’re sitting there wondering whether you’re making the right decisions at all.

• Should I be further ahead by now?
• Am I doing something wrong?
• Why does everyone else seem to be doing so much better than me?

If any of those thoughts sound familiar, you’re not alone.

In fact, I found myself thinking something surprisingly similar last week when I caught myself doing something I suspect many people do.

• Scrolling LinkedIn.
• Looking at other people’s posts.
• Looking at their likes.
• Looking at their comments.
• Looking at their shares.

And if you’re anything like me, you occasionally come across a post with 170 likes, 95 comments and 58 shares, while your own post is sitting there with 5 likes, 1 comment and absolutely no shares whatsoever (and sadly, the one and only comment was actually a link you’d added yourself).

And to add salt to the wound, you don’t even think the article was particularly insightful (theirs, not yours).

So you do what any typical human being does and your mind screams at you:

“What am I doing wrong? Clearly everyone else knows something I don’t!”

You know social media isn’t reality, you know algorithms influence visibility, and you know some posts are shown to thousands of people while others barely leave the starting blocks.

And let’s be honest, if you’re mildly famous, you can post about what you had for breakfast and get more likes in ten minutes than you do in a year.

For example, last week I shared four infographics on LinkedIn.

All four followed a similar format and all four explored a different hidden pattern I regularly see in organisations.

In my admittedly biased opinion, all four were equally worthy of 170 likes, 95 comments and 58 shares.

The result?

One infographic received more than 13,000 impressions.

The other three barely made it into three figures.

The difference wasn’t small. It was enormous.

And despite knowing how social media works, I still found myself spending an embarrassing amount of time trying to work out why.

• What was different?
• What had I missed?
• What should I have done differently?
• Why did one succeed when the others didn’t?

The thing I want to bring your attention to isn’t the analytics, it’s my reaction to the analytics.

The Story We Start Telling Ourselves

Part of me was intrigued, but part of me was annoyed.

Why did one post do so well when there was so little to differentiate it from the others?

Before long, I found myself looking at other posts on LinkedIn and noticing just how many seemed to be attracting huge amounts of engagement.

Some had hundreds of likes, others had dozens of comments, a few appeared to be everywhere and I could feel myself starting to create explanations.

• Maybe they knew something I didn’t.
• Maybe they were better at this than me.
• Maybe I was missing something obvious.

And I am someone who knows about this stuff.

The reality is that most of us don’t simply experience events; we experience the meaning we attach to those events.

One post receives 13,000 impressions while another receives 35 – those are just numbers. Yet almost instantly, our minds start creating explanations.

• Maybe everyone else knows what they’re doing.
• Maybe I’m falling behind.
• Maybe no one’s interested in what I do.

What’s fascinating is that none of those conclusions exist within the numbers themselves, they’re just stories, interpretations, assumptions and meanings. And most of the time, we’re completely unaware we’re creating them.

Social media has simply made this easier than ever.

The Comparison Trap

At no other point in history have we had so much access to other people’s highlights.

• Promotions
• Awards
• New jobs.
• New houses.
• Successful businesses.
• Books
• Podcasts
• Holidays
• Achievements

Every day we’re presented with evidence that somebody, somewhere, appears to be doing better than us.

Of course, the challenge is that we rarely see the whole picture.

• We see the promotion, but not the hours of overtime it took to get there — and certainly not the fear that they’ll be found out.
• We see the successful presentation, but not the hours of rehearsal and preparation, not to mention the sleepless night beforehand.
• We see the confident leader, but not the years it took to get there — and certainly not the anxiety they felt walking into the room.
• We see the finished book, but not the years of getting up at 4am to write before the day job started. Not the sacrifices. And certainly not the niggling doubts of, “Will it all be worth it?”

As a result, we often find ourselves comparing our internal experience with somebody else’s external presentation.

And that’s a comparison we’re almost guaranteed to lose.

Am I Falling Behind?

It’s a question I’ve heard countless times over the years, particularly from capable people who are doing well, progressing and achieving more than they realise.

Yet somehow, despite all the evidence to the contrary, they still feel as though everyone else is moving faster, further and better.

The irony is that the people they’re comparing themselves to are often thinking exactly the same thing.

Because while circumstances matter, our experience of those circumstances is shaped by something else entirely.

• The way we interpret what we’re seeing.
• The assumptions we make.
• The conclusions we draw.
• The stories we tell ourselves about where we are and what it means.

Breakthrough Insight

The feeling that everyone else is ahead isn’t always created by what you’re seeing, it’s often created by the meaning you’re attaching to what you’re seeing. And those aren’t necessarily the same thing.

That’s why two people can look at the same situation and walk away with completely different experiences.

• One person sees evidence they’re failing, while another sees evidence they’re learning.
• One person sees proof they’re behind, while another sees proof they’re making progress.

The situation hasn’t changed – the interpretation has.

And that interpretation influences how they feel, how they behave and ultimately what they do next.

A Question Worth Asking

Instead of dwelling on what I was doing wrong, I put what I teach into practice and directed my energy towards something more useful.

• What can I learn from these analytics?
• Can I find a common thread behind the posts that performed well?
• What might I adopt in my own social media?

That’s how you move from meaning to action, which raises an interesting question.

• How many of the things we worry about are being created by reality itself?
• And how many are being created by the way we’re interpreting reality?

I’m not suggesting the answer is always obvious, in fact, it rarely is, but asking the question can be surprisingly revealing. Because sometimes the thing that’s holding us back isn’t the situation we’re facing – it’s the story we’ve unknowingly created about what that situation means.

And once you realise that, you give yourself the opportunity to create a different story.

Ready To Explore This Further?

If this article resonated with you, you’re not alone. One of the things I’ve discovered over the years is that many capable people spend an enormous amount of time questioning themselves.

• They compare themselves to colleagues, friends and people they see online.
• They wonder whether they’re falling behind.
• They doubt themselves despite evidence of their capability.
• And perhaps most frustratingly of all, they often feel very differently to how they’re perceived by everyone around them.

The challenge is that most people assume confidence is simply something you either have or don’t have.

But what if confidence isn’t the real issue?

What if the way you see yourself is being influenced by hidden patterns you’ve never fully recognised?

What if the feeling of being behind, not good enough, or somehow less capable than everyone else isn’t the result of reality itself, but the result of the meaning you’ve unknowingly attached to your experiences?

These are exactly the kinds of questions we’ll be exploring in my first ever free live webinar:

How To Stop Feeling Like A Fraud And See Yourself The Way Others Already Do

During this free 60-minute session, we’ll explore:

• Why capable people often feel so differently to how they’re perceived by everyone around them.
• Why confidence doesn’t always reflect capability.
• The hidden patterns that contribute to self-doubt, overthinking, comparison and imposter feelings.
• Why simply trying to “be more confident” rarely creates lasting change.
• What you can start doing differently if you want to change the way you experience yourself and your potential.

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering:

• “Why do other people seem to believe in me more than I believe in myself?”
• “Why do I still doubt myself despite everything I’ve achieved?”
• “Why does everyone else seem further ahead than me?”

Then I’d love you to join me.

The webinar takes place live on Thursday 3 September 2026 at 12:00pm (UK time).

It’s completely free to attend, and there will also be an opportunity to ask questions at the end.

Simply register below to reserve your place.