If you’ve realised that you have one – or more – of these Hidden Patterns, you’re not alone.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve written extensively about People Pleasing, Imposter Syndrome, Overthinking and Avoidance, and many readers have replied to tell me they’ve recognised themselves in at least one of them.
Some have recognised all four, which raises an important question:
If you’ve identified one or more patterns, what actually creates them?
After all, most people don’t wake up one morning and consciously decide:
“I’d like to spend the next twenty years doubting myself, overthinking every decision and worrying what everyone thinks of me.”
Yet somehow these patterns develop.
And once they do, they can feel so familiar that we begin to mistake them for our personality.
- “I’m just an Overthinker.”
- “I’ve always been a People Pleaser.”
- “I’ve never been very confident.”
- “It’s just who I am.”
But what if it isn’t?
What if there’s something you’re not – yet – aware of that makes it feel like it’s ‘just who you are’ when it’s actually something else entirely?
What if the answer lies in… drum roll please… programmes.
And no, I don’t mean EastEnders or The Traitors.
Hidden Patterns Don’t Appear By Accident
One of the things I’m fascinated by is the fact that the brain doesn’t simply store information – it creates programmes.
In simplistic terms, these programmes are the shortcuts the brain develops so it knows how to operate in the world and help you survive.
It’s a bit like a computer needing software in order to operate.
Without programmes, we’d have to consciously work everything out from scratch every single day.
On the positive side, our brains are much more efficient than that.
On the negative side, they’re sometimes a little too efficient.
This is why some programmes help us enormously, while others become less helpful – and occasionally harmful.
But whatever the outcome, it’s important to know that every programme started with a positive intention.
Your brain didn’t set out to make:
- you doubt yourself.
- you say yes when you desperately wanted to say no.
- you spend three days analysing an email that somebody else replied to in thirty seconds.
- you bury your head in the sand, hoping things will sort themselves out if you avoid them.
It was trying to:
- help you.
- protect you.
- help you belong.
- avoid discomfort.
- reduce risk.
- keep you safe.
The challenge is that programmes created years ago don’t always remain useful forever and it’s those programmes that create patterns.
The programme sits underneath the surface, so we don’t know it’s there, but we do notice the pattern it creates. And everyone else sees the behaviour it creates.
Which means that People Pleasing, Imposter Syndrome, Overthinking and Self-Doubt are rarely the root cause – they’re clues. Clues that a deeper programme is operating underneath.
Why Hidden Patterns Matter
One of the reasons I’ve spent so much time writing about Hidden Patterns recently is because people don’t experience the programme directly.
They experience the pattern the programme creates. After all, most people don’t wake up one morning and think:
“Ah yes, that’s an interesting unconscious programme I appear to have developed.”
What they notice are the results – and the emotions – the pattern creates.
- They notice they’re overloaded with work and feel overwhelmed.
- They notice they’ve missed out on opportunities and feel disappointed in themselves.
- They notice they avoid certain conversations and feel frustrated when small issues escalate into bigger problems.
- They notice they overthink decisions and feel annoyed when somebody else makes the decision for them.
The results and emotions get their attention. They’re what make somebody start searching for answers.
Why do I keep doing this?
And those answers are relatively easy to find because you can do things like my Hidden Patterns Quiz, which quickly reveals the pattern that’s most likely influencing your behaviour.
This is why Hidden Patterns matter, because they’re often the quickest and easiest way of understanding – almost – what’s going on.
Recognition And Transformation Are Not The Same Thing
This is one of the reasons I’ve become so interested in Hidden Patterns, patterns are relatively easy to recognise while programmes are much harder to spot.
And it’s difficult to change something you can’t see.
For many people, simply recognising a pattern is a huge breakthrough because they suddenly realise:
- “That’s why I keep doing that.”
- “That’s why I react like that.”
- “That’s me.”
Recognition creates awareness, but recognising a pattern and changing a pattern are not the same thing.
Transformation happens when we understand what’s creating the pattern in the first place.
That’s why, after spending weeks writing about Hidden Patterns, I want to help people understand what sits underneath them and is driving them.
Breakthrough Insight
People don’t experience the programme directly, they experience the pattern the programme creates.
However, people try to change the pattern but find that it keeps returning because they’re trying to change the symptom rather than understanding what’s creating it.
Real transformation happens when they understand – and change – the programme creating it.
When people go through The Confidence Breakthrough™, it’s often the first time they realise that what they’ve always assumed was simply part of their personality may actually be the result of a programme they didn’t even know existed.
And that’s an important distinction.
Because if it’s part of your personality, you’re stuck with it.
Tough luck.
But if it’s a programme, it means it can be changed.
Which is why The Confidence Breakthrough™ has never really been about confidence – at least not in the way most people think about confidence – it’s about helping people understand:
- How their minds work.
- How programmes are created.
- How those programmes influence the way they think, react and behave, and most importantly,
- How to change programmes that are no longer serving them.
Because when programmes change, patterns often change too. And when patterns change, confidence, courage and resilience emerge as a natural by-product.
Over the last twenty years, I’ve delivered this work to thousands of professionals within organisations.
For the first time, I’m now opening it up to individuals through The Confidence Breakthrough™ Live.
This isn’t simply an online course, it’s a live, small-group experience where we’ll explore the hidden patterns shaping your confidence, communication and performance, understand the programmes driving them, and learn practical tools to create lasting behavioural change.
The programme is delivered over eight live 90-minute virtual sessions on Microsoft Teams, with reflection activities, guided exercises, practical workplace application and ongoing accountability between sessions. Places are intentionally limited to a maximum of ten participants so that everyone receives personalised support throughout the journey.
Because information rarely creates lasting change, understanding, reflection, application and support do.
The first cohort will begin in September. If you’re interested, the first step is simply to join the waitlist.
Joining the waitlist doesn’t commit you to anything, it simply lets me know you’re interested in finding out more.
You’ll receive information about upcoming dates, details of the programme and a special introductory offer for the first cohort.
And if, after reading more, you decide it’s not for you, that’s absolutely fine too.
But if you’ve recognised yourself in any of the Hidden Patterns I’ve written about over the last few weeks and you’re ready to understand what’s creating them, it might be the perfect next step.
You Might Also Find These Helpful
- Why Recognising You’re A People Pleaser Is Only The Beginning
- Why People Pleasing Is Not About Being Nice
- Imposter Syndrome at Work: Why You Feel Like a Fraud (Even When You’re Doing Well)
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