Did you know that even when you’re not speaking, you’re communicating. Every gesture, expression, and pause sends a message – whether you intend it or not. Essentially: You cannot not communicate.
Your behaviour is your billboard. It tells the world who you are, how you feel, and what you expect – even when you say nothing at all.
The Silent Signals You Send
Think about the last time someone avoided eye contact in a meeting. Or sighed quietly when a new project was announced. Or nodded along while their body stayed tense and still.
They didn’t say a word, but everyone felt what was going on. That’s because behaviour always reveals the story your words don’t tell. And that story shapes how people respond to you.
The Behaviour Loop
In my work, I use The Success Cycle to help people understand how their inner world drives their outer world. Thoughts create feelings. Feelings drive behaviour. Behaviour creates results and those results reinforce the original thoughts.
Once you see that loop in action, you realise how powerful behaviour really is. It’s not just a reflection of what’s happening inside you – it’s also the trigger for how others will respond.
What Your Behaviour Teaches Others
Every interaction teaches people something about what’s okay with you. When you speak up, you teach people to listen. When you stay silent, you teach people to overlook you.
When you over-apologise, you teach people to expect it. When you hold eye contact and say what you mean calmly, you teach people to respect you.
We don’t just communicate to others, we train them, moment by moment, how to treat us.
The Ripple Effect
Your behaviour also ripples outward. Your tone sets a mood. Your body language sets a tone.
Your calm becomes someone else’s calm and your tension becomes contagious too.
That’s why self-awareness matters. Because when you understand how you show up,
you start showing up on purpose.
The Good News
You can shift what you communicate without saying a word. It starts by noticing:
- What message might my behaviour be sending right now?
- What assumptions might others make based on it?
- Is that the impression I want to leave?
This isn’t about being fake or performing. It’s about choosing congruence – aligning what you feel, think, and do so that what people see is the real you.
In future articles, I’ll help you understand how to do that.
👇 If you’re ready to start understanding the messages your behaviour sends – and build the kind of inner confidence that others can see and feel:
- Join the waitlist for The Confidence Breakthrough Online Programme (joblakeleytraining.co.uk/individual-confidence-breakthrough-programme), or
- Find out more about The Confidence Breakthrough book (joblakeleytraining.co.uk/the-confidence-breakthrough-book