When problems arise at work, many organisations focus on individuals’ behaviour, while the individuals themselves focus on pointing the finger either at themselves or other people.
- The manager is controlling.
- The employee lacks confidence.
- The colleague is difficult.
- The team is resistant to change.
- The organisation is toxic.
- I should be more confident.
And sometimes those explanations are true, but after more than twenty years working in Learning and Development, both internally and as a consultant, I’ve noticed something interesting:
Often, the behaviour we can see isn’t actually the real problem, it’s simply the most visible symptom of something happening beneath the surface.
I know this because I spent years assuming the problem was either other people.
The Behaviours We Notice
Workplaces are full of behaviours that attract attention.
- Someone avoids difficult conversations.
- Someone becomes defensive during feedback.
- A manager micromanages.
- A colleague constantly seeks reassurance.
- A team member struggles to speak up in meetings.
- A high performer works late every night and heads steadily towards burnout.
These behaviours are visible, they’re observable and they’re measurable, which is why organisations naturally focus on them. After all, behaviour is what we’re taught to focus on when giving feedback. It makes sense because it’s factual, it’s something concrete we can discuss and it’s something we can see. The challenge is that behaviour rarely exists in isolation.
The behaviour is often the outcome of something deeper.
We Do Exactly The Same Thing To Ourselves
It’s not just organisations that focus on behaviour, we do it too.
We become frustrated with ourselves for procrastinating, overthinking, avoiding difficult conversations or struggling to switch off after work.
- We tell ourselves we should know better.
- We should be more confident.
- More resilient.
- More assertive.
- Better at setting boundaries.
Or we look for someone else to blame.
- The organisation is toxic.
- The manager never listens.
- The team is impossible.
Again, sometimes those explanations are absolutely valid, but sometimes they only explain part of the story. Because while we are busy focusing on the behaviour or the person, we can miss the hidden patterns influencing how we think, react and behave.
The Same Situation, Different Responses
One of the things that has fascinated me throughout my career is how differently people can respond to exactly the same situation.
- Two people receive constructive feedback: one reflects on it and moves on with their day while the other replays the conversation in their head for the next three weeks.
- Two people are asked to present to senior leaders: one feels excited, while the other feels physically sick.
- Two people face a heavy workload: one asks for help, while the other stays late every night and refuses to delegate.
If the situation alone determined behaviour, everyone would respond in roughly the same way. But they don’t, which suggests something else is influencing the response.
Pressure Doesn’t Create The Problem
One of the biggest misconceptions about workplace behaviour is that pressure creates the problem. In reality, pressure often reveals it.
When people are relaxed and things are going well, many patterns remain hidden, but when pressure increases, those patterns become much more visible.
- The people pleaser logically knows they need to set boundaries for their own wellbeing, but no matter how much they know they should, they still can’t say no.
- The overthinker knows they should move on from the conversation they had three weeks ago, but they still find themselves replaying it in their head.
- The perfectionist knows they have too much work on and should delegate some of it to a capable colleague, yet still struggles to let go.
- The avoider knows they should speak to the colleague who upset them, but continues to postpone the conversation.
- The challenger knows their defensiveness is damaging relationships, yet still finds themselves reacting before thinking.
Pressure doesn’t necessarily create these responses, it simply exposes them.
Hidden Patterns Shape Behaviour
Over the years, I’ve come to realise that many workplace behaviours are influenced by hidden patterns people rarely recognise in themselves.
Patterns developed through experiences, assumptions, expectations and learned ways of navigating the world. At some point, these patterns were helpful, but under pressure, they can begin to influence confidence, communication, decision-making, relationships and performance.
- The employee who cannot say no may be driven by a need for approval.
- The manager who micromanages may be operating from a fear of failure.
- The colleague who becomes defensive may be protecting themselves from feeling criticised.
- The employee who avoids visibility may be worried about judgement.
The behaviour is visible but the pattern driving it often isn’t.
Why Focusing Only On Behaviour Doesn’t Always Work
Imagine discovering a leak in a pipe: you patch the hole and the leak disappears. Problem solved. Except a few months later, another leak appears somewhere else. And then another. Eventually you realise the leak was never the real issue.
The underlying problem was corrosion throughout the pipe.
Behaviour can work in a similar way. If we focus only on the visible behaviour, we may see temporary improvement, but if the underlying pattern remains unchanged, the behaviour often reappears in a different form.
- The employee who learns to speak up may still struggle with difficult conversations.
- The manager who reduces micromanagement may still struggle to trust their team.
- The people pleaser who finally says no at work may still find themselves overcommitting elsewhere.
The behaviour changes, but the pattern remains.
Breakthrough Insight
Behaviour is rarely the root cause, it’s often the visible symptom of an invisible pattern.
Behind every behaviour sits a set of assumptions, fears, experiences and learned responses influencing how a person interprets and reacts to the world around them. If we focus only on the behaviour, we may improve the symptom, but if we understand the pattern driving it, we have a far greater chance of creating lasting change.
That’s true for individuals, it’s true for managers and it’s true for organisations.
A Different Approach To Development
Having worked in Learning and Development for more than two decades, I’ve seen countless development initiatives designed to help people do different things.
- Speak up more.
- Delegate more.
- Be more resilient.
- Communicate more effectively.
- Manage conflict better.
And while these skills absolutely matter, the biggest breakthroughs I’ve witnessed have rarely come from teaching people what to do. They’ve come from helping people understand why they were struggling in the first place because once people understand the hidden pattern driving their behaviour, they can begin to make different choices.
Not because somebody told them to, but because they finally understand what’s been influencing them all along.
You Might Also Find These Helpful
- Why People Pleasing Is Not About Being Nice
- Why Teams Keep Having The Same Problems
- Imposter Syndrome at Work: Why You Feel Like a Fraud (Even When You’re Doing Well
Ready To Discover Your Hidden Patterns?
If you’ve ever wondered why you react, think or behave the way you do at work, my FREE Hidden Pattern Quiz is a great place to start.
It helps uncover some of the hidden patterns that may be influencing your confidence, communication, relationships and performance at work.
And if you’d like regular insights – and to go even deeper – into the hidden patterns shaping how people think, react and behave at work, you can sign up to receive my Weekly Breakthrough.