Yesterday, while heavy rain was battering at my windows, and the wind was howling through the cracks, I did what any sensible person would do—scrolled through social media.
The first thing I saw? My friend’s bronzed toes, dangling over the edge of an infinity pool, set against a backdrop of flawless blue skies and golden sunshine. Meanwhile, I was wearing three layers of sweaters and debating whether it was socially acceptable to put on gloves indoors.
Naturally, I did what any rational adult would do—I threw my phone onto the sofa in a fit of jealousy.
And then I started thinking: Why do people post what they do? More importantly, what do those posts reveal about them? And what does this mean for leadership, communication, and workplace culture?
The Psychology of Posting: It’s Not Just a Selfie
There’s no harm in posting on social media, right? Of course not! In fact, plenty of people use it for logical reasons—promoting a business, sharing achievements, or simply letting the world know it’s their birthday (so they can bask in the glow of obligatory “Happy Birthday!” comments).
But when we dig deeper, social media reveals something far more interesting about human behaviour. And as an L&D specialist, manager, or leader, understanding these insights can be incredibly useful in how you engage with and develop your team.
- The Need for Connection
At its core, social media is about connection—even when it doesn’t feel like it.
Psychologist Matthew Lieberman found that our need to connect is as fundamental as our need for food and water. In today’s fast-paced world, where remote work, back-to-back meetings, and digital communication have replaced traditional face-to-face interactions, people are looking for ways to maintain relationships.
And yet, here’s the paradox: While social media provides a way to connect, it often magnifies feelings of disconnection. Just as employees crave meaningful interactions at work, they also seek them online—only to find themselves scrolling through highlight reels that make them feel even more isolated.
Leadership takeaway: If your employees are constantly seeking external validation on social media, they might also be feeling unheard or undervalued in the workplace. The more people feel disconnected at work, the more they’ll turn to external sources for recognition.
- Looking Good vs. Being Real
According to a study by content strategy group Fractl, 40% of people admit to sharing content purely to make themselves look good.
Let’s be honest—we’ve all seen (or posted) the classic humblebrag:
- “So humbled to receive my 17th award this year. Hard work pays off! #blessed”
- “Work trip to Bali—again! Guess I’ll have to suffer through another beachfront meeting.”
Social media gives people the ability to curate their image, selecting only the best, brightest, and most envy-inducing moments. The same happens in the workplace. Employees might not openly express struggles or challenges for fear of looking weak, leading to a culture of perfection over progress.
Leadership takeaway: If your workplace only celebrates success and never acknowledges mistakes, you’re inadvertently fostering a “highlight reel” culture where employees feel pressure to appear perfect rather than be authentic.
- The Deep-Rooted Desire to Belong
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs places belonging as a fundamental human requirement. In the digital age, social media engagement—likes, comments, shares—has become a modern form of validation.
The more engagement people get, the better they feel. The less engagement, the more self-doubt creeps in.
Now, translate this to the workplace. Employees who don’t feel recognised for their contributions will seek validation elsewhere—whether that’s social media or, eventually, another company that appreciates them more.
Leadership takeaway: If employees don’t feel a sense of belonging at work, they’ll look for it elsewhere. Leaders who actively foster inclusion, celebrate contributions, and create space for authentic connection will retain more engaged teams.
What This Means for Leadership and L&D
So, what can we learn from the psychology of social media that applies to leadership and workplace culture?
✅ Encourage Authenticity
If employees feel like they have to present a ‘perfect’ version of themselves at work, they won’t take risks, share ideas, or admit mistakes. Create a culture where honesty and vulnerability are valued just as much as success.
✅ Recognise the Need for Validation
People want to be seen and appreciated. Whether it’s through public recognition, a private thank-you, or regular feedback, acknowledgment goes a long way in making employees feel valued.
✅ Build Genuine Connections
A ‘like’ on a post isn’t the same as a meaningful conversation. The same goes for the workplace. Real connection happens in real interactions. Take the time to engage with your team beyond status updates and deliverables.
✅ Create a Sense of Belonging
Don’t wait for employees to seek validation externally. Build a workplace culture where they feel like they truly belong—where their contributions matter and their voices are heard.
Final Thoughts: Social Media and Self-Worth
At the end of the day, social media is a mirror—it reflects not just what people want the world to see, but often what they’re missing in their real lives. The same applies in the workplace.
If an employee is constantly seeking external validation, presenting a ‘perfect’ version of themselves, or disengaging altogether, there’s a deeper issue at play. As leaders, the more we understand these behaviours, the better we can support, develop, and retain our teams.
And if you’ve made it this far without checking your phone for likes, comments, or notifications—you deserve a gold star. ⭐
Now, let’s build workplaces where people don’t need social media to feel valued.
Acknowledgment: This blog post was written by me: Jo Blakeley. While I used AI assistance (Co-Pilot) for refining grammar and presentation, all ideas, insights, and content are my own.