If you procrastinate – not in a dramatic, headline-grabbing way, but in that low-level, background-hum kind of way – I want to reassure you that there’s nothing wrong with you, and you don’t lack discipline or motivation.
In fact, most people who procrastinate don’t have a problem with productivity at all. What they do have is a nervous system responding to something that feels risky, uncertain, or emotionally loaded – and until that’s understood, it can be very hard to shift.
In this article, I want to explore what procrastination is really hiding, why it often turns into indecision, and what helps you move forward without forcing yourself.
You might recognise procrastination in yourself through phrases like:
- I’ll do it later.
- I just want to think it through properly.
- I don’t want to rush this.
They’re all perfectly reasonable things to say – sensible, even – and exactly the kind of language thoughtful, conscientious people tend to use.
But when those phrases become familiar, something subtle often shifts beneath the surface. Not a dramatic collapse of confidence, but a slow erosion – a sense of being stuck, of second-guessing yourself, of wondering why movement feels harder than it used to.
What I’m really talking about here is a family of behaviours – hesitation, procrastination and indecision – which can look quite different on the outside but are usually driven by the same internal story.
And if procrastination has been showing up for you as overthinking, hesitation, or difficulty making decisions, you may recognise that what looks like avoidance on the outside is often protection on the inside.
When procrastination becomes a pattern
In my twenties, when I felt stuck – emotionally, relationally and professionally – I didn’t sit around doing nothing or staring at the wall. I stayed busy:
- I ate.
- I took cigarette breaks.
- I tidied things that didn’t need tidying.
- I wrote lists – often to delay taking action on the very items I’d just written down.
- I replied to emails that weren’t urgent but were conveniently absorbing.
All of it looked productive enough from the outside, but every one of those actions had the same effect: they kept me away from doing the thing that actually mattered.
At the time, I never thought of myself as “a procrastinator”. I didn’t procrastinate about everything – only very specific things: The email that felt loaded, the decision that felt permanent, the conversation that might change how I was seen, or the choice that felt like it said something about who I was.
I told myself I was being careful. Thoughtful. Sensible.
What I understand now is that procrastination was disguising indecision – not because I lacked intelligence or motivation, but because the stakes felt personal.
Why we procrastinate (and what it’s protecting)
Procrastination isn’t about avoiding action for the sake of it. It’s about avoiding the emotional consequences that come with action.
Because the moment you choose, you expose yourself to uncertainty – to the possibility of being wrong, being judged, regretting your choice, or discovering that the outcome doesn’t feel how you hoped it would.
So your nervous system does something very human and, in its own way, very intelligent. It steps in and says: Let’s just not decide yet. Not forever. Just for now.
The difficulty is that “for now” has a habit of stretching quietly into weeks, months, sometimes years. And because nothing dramatic happens, it can be surprisingly easy not to notice what’s really going on.
The belief underneath procrastination and indecision
Underneath long-standing procrastination there’s often a belief that sounds something like this:
If I choose badly, I’ll have to live with it – and I won’t be able to undo it.
When that belief is present, indecision feels safer than commitment. Because if you don’t choose, you don’t fully commit. You don’t risk regret. You don’t have to find out.
Indecision keeps options open. It preserves possibility. It delays consequence.
Seen through this lens, procrastination isn’t a flaw or a failure of character. It’s a protective strategy doing its job – just a little too effectively.
Why overthinking doesn’t create clarity
When people feel stuck or can’t stop procrastinating, their instinct is often to think more. More pros and cons. More research. More imagining of every possible outcome.
That approach makes sense – until it stops working. Because if this were a logic problem, thinking would solve it. What’s actually happening is emotional: fear of consequence, fear of self-judgement, or fear of closing doors.
So instead of creating clarity, more thinking tends to create weight. You don’t feel clearer – you feel heavier – and the heavier it feels, the harder it becomes to move.
The hidden cost of staying undecided
Indecision feels safer than action – at least initially – but when you live inside it for too long, it starts to take a toll.
Over time, it can quietly drain confidence, create low-level anxiety, undermine trust in your own judgement, and leave you with a nagging sense that you’re falling behind or not quite living up to your potential.
Not because you’re incapable. But because your confidence is waiting for certainty that never arrives – and while you’re waiting, life keeps moving.
A more helpful question to ask
Instead of asking yourself, “Why can’t I just decide?” – which usually adds a layer of frustration or self-criticism – it can be more useful to ask:
What am I afraid might happen if I do?
That question shifts the focus beneath the surface. Procrastination stops being something to fix or beat yourself up about and becomes something you can understand. And understanding, almost always, reduces threat.
How to move forward without certainty
Confidence isn’t about making perfect choices. It’s about trusting yourself enough to make a choice, learn from it, and adjust if needed. Most people don’t lack decisiveness. What they lack is permission to be human in their decisions – to get things wrong, to change their mind, to grow as they go.
And once that permission is there, movement often becomes possible again. Not dramatic movement. Not overnight clarity. Just small, honest, grounded steps forward.
If procrastination or indecision has been quietly eroding your confidence, there are free, gentle tools on my website – including the Confidence Block Quiz and the Confidence Kickstart Pack – designed to help you understand what’s really getting in the way and rebuild self-trust without forcing yourself.