A lot of my friends’ children have just sat their GCSEs, and it took me right back to a pivotal moment in my life: my results day.
I was 16, feeling accomplished, with three A’s, three B’s, and three C’s. I proudly handed the letter to my dad, expecting a pat on the back, and a “Well done Jo!”. Instead, he said: “Make sure they’re all A’s next time.” In a split second, my pride was gone, my self-esteem evaporated and my confidence hit rock bottom.
However, there is a twist to this sad story. That moment – unknowingly – set me down a path that would change how I think, forever. Sadly, it took me a while to get there. In the meantime…
Playing It Safe = Playing It Small
From that day on, and into my early career, I developed a highly sophisticated risk-management system: If there was a chance I might fail, I didn’t try.
- I skipped doing any presentation.
- I avoided stretch assignments.
- I stuck to the things I knew I’d do well at and do right.
And if you’d asked me back then, I would’ve said I was being professional. But what I was really doing? I was training myself to fear mistakes more than missed opportunities.
Fast forward over a decade, and I stumbled across this quote from Nelson Mandela:
“I never lose. I either win or learn.”
And it got me thinking what a lovely way to look at the world, if I could only do that too. It wasn’t until I discovered ‘Reframing’; a technique from NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) that helps you assign new meaning to an experience, that the quote wasn’t just inspirational wallpaper material. It was practical strategy.
So I adapted it slightly in my head: “I never fail. I either win or learn.”
And just like that, failure wasn’t a threat anymore. It was feedback. It was data. It was invaluable to growth.
What This Means for You as a Leader
If your team fears failure, they’ll avoid innovation. It doesn’t matter how many frameworks or KPIs you roll out, if your people are terrified of messing up, they’ll play small. Every time.
Your job as a leader isn’t to eliminate mistakes. It’s to make failure useful.
Here’s how:
- Encourage Risk-Taking: Let your team know it’s okay to try new things and make mistakes. If they’re always playing it safe, they’ll never grow.
- Provide Supportive Feedback: When failure does occur, focus on what can be learned rather than what went wrong. Offer constructive feedback that emphasises growth, not judgement.
- Normalise Failure: Lead by example. Share your own experiences with failure, and how those experiences helped you learn, adapt, and improve. This transparency builds trust and sets a positive tone for your team.
- Celebrate Effort Over Perfection: Recognise the effort people put into tasks, not just the outcome. When employees know that trying is valued – even if the outcome isn’t perfect – they’ll be more willing to take risks and try new things.
- Create a Safe Learning Environment: Ensure your team feels safe to fail without fearing negative repercussions. When people know they won’t be penalised for taking risks, they’ll be more inclined to innovate.
You can’t grow what you don’t challenge. And challenge always comes with the risk of failure. So lead like someone who’s failed gloriously and got the T-shirt. Because failure doesn’t make you a bad leader. But pretending you’ve never failed? That just might.
If you want to build a team that’s resilient, innovative, and unafraid to fail, or if you’re ready to create a culture where people grow through challenges – not avoid them – get in touch to explore how I can help you embed reframing and growth mindset tools into your leadership or L&D strategy.