One of the biggest battles my husband and I currently face is our 13-year-old son’s relentless campaign for a smartphone. His go-to argument? “Every single one of my friends has one.” Our response? The age-old parental classic: “If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?” (Cue the inevitable eye-roll.)
We know we’re only delaying the inevitable tidal wave of social media, but if we can hold off until he’s mature enough to handle it responsibly, we’ll do just that. After all, even at 53, I sometimes wonder if I’ve figured out how to navigate it rationally myself!
Looking back, my childhood challenges seemed simpler—dodging rogue tennis balls at breaktime or convincing my mum to stop at the ice cream van for a Screwball (for those too young to remember, it was a plastic cup of ice cream with raspberry sauce and a bubble gum prize at the bottom). Fast forward to today, and young people face cyberbullying, anxiety spirals, and even self-harm. Why? While social media isn’t the sole culprit, it certainly plays a massive role.
This is why we’re trying to delay the inevitable for as long as possible. I know it’s a losing battle—we’re like a makeshift dam trying to hold back a digital tsunami—but if we can buy our son more time to develop a strong sense of self before plunging into the world of likes and follows, then so be it.
When Fame Meant Something
There was a time when fame meant something. Celebrities were musicians, actors, and athletes who worked tirelessly at their craft. These role models showcased what could be achieved through perseverance, inspiring young people to develop their own passions and self-worth.
Flash forward to today, and we’re inundated with influencers who catapult to stardom from reality TV or viral posts. Someone like Molly-Mae Hague, who went from Love Island contestant to social media millionaire, earning more per Instagram post than the GDP of a small nation.
Yes, she’s now a ‘creative director’ of a fast-fashion brand, but the underlying message is clear: fame pays, and it pays BIG. And the troubling part? Young people are absorbing the idea that success comes from looking perfect, going viral, or making outrageous statements—not from hard work or genuine skill.
The Message We’re Sending
The result? A generation measuring self-worth by follower counts, filtered selfies, and brand deals. Talent and effort? Optional. This breeds a toxic culture of comparison, where young people feel ‘less than’ if they don’t match up to an unattainable, polished image. Worse, it erodes self-esteem and, for some, leads to dangerous coping mechanisms like self-harm.
The ‘Perfect Image’ Is an Illusion
So, what’s the solution? First, we need to acknowledge the illusion. Behind every seemingly effortless influencer post is meticulous staging, filters, and, quite possibly, a minor meltdown over getting the perfect ‘candid’ pose.
I learned this firsthand when I tried to launch a self-development business a few years ago. Marketing experts advised me to curate a ‘perfect life’ on social media to build a following. So, I posted about my new house, beach trips, and picture-perfect family moments. What I didn’t post? The stress of juggling a corporate job, my son’s mental health struggles, or the strain on my marriage. The worst part? I was pretending to be happy when I wasn’t.
Eventually, I took my husband’s advice and stepped back. I realised I was investing too much in creating an illusion and not enough in living authentically. That’s when I stopped posting personal content and focused on sharing genuine insights on LinkedIn—hoping to help others while maintaining my sanity.
We, as professionals and educators, must lead by example. We need to emphasise that self-worth comes from within—not from a curated Instagram feed. Encouraging young people to build resilience, celebrate real achievements, and prioritise emotional well-being is key to developing authentic self-esteem.
Instead of idolizing influencers who peddle unattainable beauty standards, we should champion real role models—people like Malala Yousafzai, who turned adversity into advocacy, or Tony Foulds, who tends to a war memorial out of gratitude. These are the figures who inspire real change—no filters required.
What Leaders Can Do
As leaders, we hold some of the keys to fostering genuine self-esteem—both in workplaces and beyond:
✅ Promote Authenticity: Celebrate effort, growth, and small wins over polished perfection.
✅ Educate Wisely: Help employees and young people recognize the dangers of comparison culture and practice digital mindfulness.
✅ Laugh and Learn: Use humour to highlight the absurdity of influencer culture while addressing its real-world impact.
Let’s be the voices of reason in a sea of selfie-sticks. Because here’s the truth: no amount of likes, followers, or hashtags will ever define someone’s worth. But shared laughter, real growth, and meaningful conversations? That’s the real deal.
Acknowledgment: This blog post was written by me: Jo Blakeley. While I used AI assistance (Co-Pilot) for refining grammar and presentation, all ideas, insights, and content are my own.