Have you ever felt totally overwhelmed… but didn’t know how to say it out loud?
Maybe you were handed a task that felt impossible. Or your to-do list kept growing, while your energy quietly disappeared. You didn’t want to complain. You didn’t want to seem incapable. So you did what many of us do: avoided it, buried it, hoped it would somehow sort itself out.
You’re not alone. Last week, my 13-year-old son came home quiet. Snappy. Withdrawn. Classic teenager, right? That’s what I thought too, until he admitted he felt completely overwhelmed by a school assignment. His instinct? Avoid it. Shut down. Pretend it wasn’t happening.
And I couldn’t help but think: How often do we do that at work?
How often do we smile through the stress, stay silent, or secretly hope someone will just notice we’re drowning?
Stress Doesn’t Always Look Like Stress
It’s not always late nights and visible panic. Sometimes it shows up as:
- Overworking until you burn out
- Disengaging quietly
- Snapping at people who didn’t deserve it
- Going off sick because it all just feels too much
- Shutting down or pretending everything’s fine
We all have our tells. And here’s the truth: Stress is a normal response to a broken system — not a personal flaw.
So What’s Actually Causing It?
According to 2024 data from Champion Health, 76% of employees report moderate to high levels of stress. Why?
- Too much work
- Poor leadership
- Lack of support
And the Health & Safety Executive (HSE) highlights six common root causes:
Overload. Lack of control. Zero support. Toxic relationships. Role confusion. Constant change.
Which ones feel familiar? Which would you change in a heartbeat if you could?
Now Imagine This Instead…
You’re stressed. But your manager doesn’t jump in with solutions. They don’t give advice. Instead, they ask a question – the kind that helps you slow down, unpack what’s really going on, and think for yourself.
They listen. Not to fix. Just to understand. That’s coaching. And it’s a game-changer.
But Here’s the Problem…
Most managers don’t know how to coach. They’re stressed too. Or they’ve never been shown how. So instead, they:
- Offer advice that doesn’t land
- Assume they know the full picture
- Micromanage
- Leave you feeling even more misunderstood
Because you’re not them. You’re you, with your own pressures, thinking, and pace.
The Good News?
You don’t need a job title to lead. You don’t need permission to coach.
When you learn to ask better questions, listen without jumping in, and manage your own stress, you become the kind of colleague – and future leader – people trust.
Next time your manager rushes in with advice, try this:
- “Could we talk this through as a coaching conversation?
- “Would you be open to just listening and asking me a few questions so I can work it out?”
You might be surprised how powerful that small shift can be.